I’m 34 years old, graduated with honors from one of the top-15 universities in the world, have a “real job”, and I’m broke. This is the story of how I did everything I thought I was “supposed” to do and still found myself 100K in debt and moving back home (to my aunt & uncle’s). Want to start from the beginning? Go to My Money Story: Can I Have A Do-Over?
July 25, 2018
The movers will be here in five days.
I find myself getting sadder as moving day creeps closer. I realize that makes me sound like a big, spoiled baby — it’s not like I’m going to be roughing it by any means — but I loooove where I live. The ocean, Montana Ave, Third Street Promenade (close enough to walk there, but far enough to avoid some of the craziness), my neighbors. I haven’t had neighbors that really embodied the idea of a “neighbor” since I was a little girl in the house I grew up in. I have that here and I’m really going to miss it.
It doesn’t help that when strangers come to buy my things they tell me I must be crazy to move from this location.
Yep, I know. Thanks.
At this point, I don’t see another choice. I can’t afford to live here — at least not without going into even more debt trying to act like I can. I don’t want to live that way anymore.
I’m never going to get to where I want to be by staying where I am —
— no matter how much I love where I am. No matter how comfortable it is.
In hindsight, the comfort is likely what’s holding me back.
Which means the only way to move forward is to get uncomfortable — REALLY uncomfortable.
My mind has a way of making me see tunnel vision. When I focus on an outcome I’m afraid of, it’s usually the only thing I can see.
For instance, in the first few months after I moved to L.A. I had a recurring nightmare. While the details varied slightly, the theme was that someone or something was making me leave L.A. and go back to MI. Whether it was someone in my life making me leave or the result of my own failures, it always revolved around L.A. being “taken” from me. In a lot of ways, this move is bringing that feeling back.
However, unlike my nightmares, this isn’t something being done to me. This is something I did to myself.
I’m not looking for sympathy.
In fact, this realization actually feels empowering — if I did this to myself, I can get myself out of it.
In the meantime, I’m trying to focus on the positive. Here are a few things that make me feel better when I’m starting to spiral:
- I love my aunt and uncle and I’m so lucky that they’re willing to take us (PJ and I) in.
- I’m only moving 30 miles away.
- It will be nice to have family around after living alone for so long.
- It’s only temporary (hopefully — for my aunt and uncle’s sake).
- Life is unpredictable — my situation could change at any time.
Side note/fun tidbit — I may have gone a little overboard with getting rid of things. The charging cord for my electric drill is (not-so) mysteriously missing. I have vague memories of seeing a similar cord at the garage sale that I
might have definitely threw away because I had no idea what it belonged to.
Here are this week’s sales:
Pottery Barn Side Tables
These match the coffee table I sold last week. I originally listed the set of three tables for $400, but with time running out I decided to split them up. It turned out to be a much better idea.
6-Cube Storage Unit
This was pretty much brand new. I hadn’t even put the feet on it yet.
Adding this to everything I’ve sold thus far, here’s where I’m at:
Total revenue: $1335.51
– total costs: $33.99
= net “income”: $1301.52
Want to know how this whole thing started?
Go to My Money Story: Can I Have a Do-Over to start from the beginning.